A Vampire in a Wizard's World
by Sarah Black
Summary: A Muggle is picked up by a vampire and manhandled into a world where wizards are on top of the foodchain and one must get Registered at their Ministry simply for being a victim. A look at a wizard's world through a vampire's eyes. Interesting, no?
1. Eight page essays

**A Vampire in a Wizard's World**

by Sarah Black

_Our story begins late at night in a tiny apartment, illuminated only with soft glow of a computer screen._

**Chapter one.**

She rubbed her eyes tiredly and yawned like a lion. God, she hated these awful essays, especially when you only have half a page to go and are out of ideas. She glanced at the alarm clock on her bed stand. Jesus Christ. It was far too late. Why couldn't she think of the words? Probably because it was three o'clock in the morning and she'd been staring at the computer screen all day. She glanced longingly at her bed and sighed. 

"Damn." She muttered under her breath after rubbing her eyes some more. 

"Shit." She then added for good measure. 

Why did she always have to go and put these things off till the last moment? Right... because she hated essays. That was something she should be able to remember after the horrible day she'd had. She'd slept for as late as she possibly could trying to ignore the awful weight in her stomach that told her this was essay day. God, she hated essay days. When she had finally managed to drag her hide out of bed she had put her essay off for a little longer in order to feed the loud growling thing that apparently most doctors would refer to as a stomach. No, on the other hand they'd probably say it in Latin or some other such language.

She ended up eating a bowl of Cheerios in her crummy little kitchen and dreading the moment the last spoonful was consumed. After rinsing the bowl off and placing it somewhere in the clutter around the sink she walked slowly back to her tiny bedroom where her laptop awaited, no doubt gloating at her lack of organazation skills. She then proceeded to pull out some books and newspaper clippings about whichever inane subject on which she was supposed to write an eight page essay and then settled herself in front of the computer.

The rest of the day was spent in a depressing silence if you don't count the click click of typing.

Suddenly she was hit with an idea and was able to finish her essay. It was less than brilliant but it would have to suffice. She might scrape a seven if Mr. Hall was in a good mood when grading.

Feeling incredibly relieved she demanded the laptop save her essay on to a floppy so she could print it at school. Thankfully everything did what it was supposed to and she was able to fall into blissful sleep.

Or she would have if there hadn't been a man on her bed. She opened her mouth in order to scream but closed it again when she thought better of it. Her crazy neighbor would kill her and her pervy neighbor would probably try to comfort her or some such nonsense. She stared at the window, she'd left it open a crack as it was a still warm night but no man could have gone through there. Uncomfortably aware of the fact that there was a man on her bed and that she'd done nothing but open her mouth, close it and kept it closed in the last five minutes or so, she attempted to speak.

"Wha...?" Was all she managed before the man interrupted her.

"I'm dreadfully sorry for the intrusion, but it was the only open window in the building and I just didn't have the strength to fly to the next one. I'm injured you see." He spoke in a terribly attractive British accent which reminded her somewhat of James Bond. Despite the attractiveness of his accent she didn't fail to notice that he was obviously crazier than her neighbor as he seemed to think he could fly and not only that, but fly through her window which was barely open. 

That simply didn't compute. Instead of pointing this out like a logical sane human being, she let out a very embarrassing cooing noise and exclaimed: "You're injured! Where? Let me see!" She then rushed to his side, feeling quite dumb and girly mind you, and timidly touched his shoulder. 

"It's my leg, I'm afraid I had a bit of a brush with an angry dog." He proclaimed sounding immensely relieved at her entirely inappropriate reaction to the ridiculous situation. 

She suddenly recalled everything would be much easier with more light and reached for the lamp which was conveniently placed next to her alarm clock. The man made a strange hissing noise when the light flooded over the bed and she in turn made a silly shocked sort of noise when she caught sight of his bloodied leg.

My sheets! She thought desperately and tried to remember where she kept her clean towels. She tended to forget things when she was nervous or panicked. That did not come in handy on exams.

The man obviously mistook her sound of worry as being for him and he attempted to sound heroic.

"I'll be perfectly fine, really. I heal rather fast, especially if given the right sort of nourishment." 

Or really, she thought he was trying to sound heroic when actually he was preparing to drink her blood in order to replenish his own supply. 

She was oblivious to his scheming as she was distraught with worry for her sheets and rather annoyed she couldn't remember where she kept her towels. 

"Let me just go find you a towel, I'll be right ba-" She didn't get to finish her sentence because the man who was actually not a man had attached himself on to her neck and wouldn't come off.

Her last thought before passing out ran something along the lines of: I'm never watching another Bond flick, British accents suck.

*

When she woke up she had the feeling she was six feet under. She couldn't explain why exactly she had that feeling but it was like that instinct you get in the morning and you just know there's no coffee in the house but you really want a cup and you realize that you're going to have to run to the Starbucks down the street and you'll probably miss the bus. Something like that. 

Wait a second, what was that smell? Was something rotting? She decided to risk opening her eyes. 

She decided immediately that opening her eyes was the most spectacularly bad idea she had ever had. She opened her mouth to scream in sheer terror and disgust but thought better of it. If any of the others were in a similar situation she wouldn't want to wake them. 

As it turned out, she was not in fact six feet under, she was in a tomb. For some reason her coffin wasn't closed and she was free to enter her next train of thought. 

What the hell was she doing in a tomb full of horrible rotting corpses? She started to swear malevolently under her breath. When she caught sight of the family crest she redoubled her swearing. Not only was she in a tomb but she was in a tomb in England. England with its stupid British accents. She was in this mess all because of a British accent. The memories swirled around her head like toilet water being flushed and there was nothing she could do but glow red with embarrassment at how she had behaved. Why did she have to be such a dunce? She sighed and decided to get the hell out of the tomb. Tombs are for dead people and she, she checked her pulse, was... dead.

She checked her pulse again. 

Shit. 

Damn.

What the hell was going on? She tried to grab helpful details from the swirling toilet water and after an eternity she recalled the bastard had bitten her. He had bitten her neck. Her hand flew up to grope her neck area. At first she couldn't feel anything but she quickly realised that was because she was feeling the wrong side of her neck. 

Stupid. 

The right side of her neck had two delicate puncture wounds. Bastard. He had sucked her blood like some sort of vampire and now she was stuck in a tomb in England with no pulse but enduring logical thought if the swirling toilet water could be called that.

She frowned a bit and stared angrily at the wall. Then she thought of something. If she was dead, but not dead, didn't that make her sort of... undead?

Her teeth were now the subjects of her groping but they seemed rather normal. 

Well, it wasn't such a crazy thought when she first had it. She felt rather relieved. 

Of course she couldn't be a vampire. Those belonged in books and movies or books about movies or something. As for the no pulse thing, that was probably a fluke. Didn't you have to be some sort of doctor in order to feel someone's pulse? That had to be it. She simply didn't have the vital medical training you had to have in order to be able to find someone's pulse. 

Feeling very good about this decision she looked for a way out. She obviously didn't belong here so the only logical course of action would be to get the hell out of there.

She finally noticed a door in a rather obvious place (how on earth had she managed to miss it?) and proceeded to walk towards it, she was just about to reach the doorknob when the door gained (seemingly) a life of its own, swung forward and into her forehead, knocking her off her feet in the process. 

"Ow." She spat out grumpily after rubbing her forehead for a while. She peered up in the general direction of the door, fully intending to glare at it as soon as she could place it. 

"New girl's awake." Came an instant reply to her disgruntled noise. She felt very confused for a moment but then she managed to think back, put two and two together and come up with a most inappropriate six. 

**Note: **_I hope you like the first chapter, please alert me to any Mary Sue-ism and I will take it seriously and try to fix the character accordingly. Thank you for reading and please take the time to tell me what you think, if I don't get criticism how will I learn? _


	2. Fainting and giggling

**A Vampire in a Wizard's World**

by Sarah Black

**Chapter two.**

"Huh?" Was her next noise. It expressed all her confusion quite nicely so she didn't continue, feeling she had made enough noises for at least the next few seconds.

"She sounds intelligent." A different voice commented dryly. The voice she had heard before let out a small distinctly female giggle. This was odd because the three forms standing before her, silhouetted by the late night/early morning 'light', were all clearly male. 

The third one, who hadn't made a sound until now thought it was an excellent idea to offer her his hand in a silent sort of way.

Before the voice in her head had a chance to knock some sense into her bruised head, she took it. On the way up from the floor the voice decided to 'speak' and she let go. Other body parts joined the fellowship of the bruised.

More giggling from the feminine sounding one.

"You're probably wondering what's going on, aren't you?" The second one asked, his tone was still on the drier side of the desert.

She was still feeling a lack of need to make sounds so she nodded.

The girlish one took a very deep breath and began to explain.

"You, my unlucky friend, were unfortunate enough to meet up with one of the rouge vampires still out there. That is, vampires who still hunt humans, drink their blood and change them. Rouge vampires aren't registered with the Ministry and therefore can not be monitored. Anyway, you got bitten and Mr. Rouge Vampire works his Voodoo and voila, you're of the undead. You of course thought you were dead so you sort of were... you're what we like to call a 'Sleeper' -that's a vampire that doesn't think to wake up till days or weeks after its bitten." he paused to smirk at her. 

While he rambled on she noticed the silent one close the tomb door and get into one of the coffins that were, conveniently for him, scattered around the dark cobweb covered place like dirty, yet strangely polished, pieces of wood.

Girly started talking again and the third one... well, he was just standing there in an old fashioned English sort of way she didn't really like. 

"What we're guessing happened after you were found 'dead' is that the relatives arranged for a nice little funeral and you got stuffed into our tomb. We woke up three days ago with a new neighbour and of course us being us we realized what your situation was. Oh, sorry we left your coffin open, I meant to close it but Mr. Sarcastic over there forgot to remind me." He paused again but didn't show signs of starting up again.

A question popped up in her head.

"Um, who is this 'us' exactly." She asked timidly, having realized it was a perfectly nice moment to start making sounds again. Coherent ones, even.

"Me, I'm Sam. The one that's gone to sleep already is Bob. He never says anything. He's not mute or anything he just got sick of talking one day or something... probably because he was always the one who had to explain _I'm _ the straight one and he's... well, not." Sam smiled at her in a way that said: 'Laugh already, it was a joke. Need I spell it out?' 

She giggled nervously. 

"Hey! We laugh the same. Isn't that cute?" Sam was now grinning pleasantly. "Oh! I nearly forgot, that grumpy old windbag is Al. He's straight but I wouldn't try anything cause he bites." Sam added and then collapsed into a fit of girlish giggles.

She desperately wondered if they really did laugh the same. It was a most disturbing thought and she sincerely hoped it wasn't true.

"And what is you're name?" Al, the grumpy windbag, asked and raised an eyebrow.

"Me? Oh." 

Panic!

"I'm Sally." She managed to get out after a few embarrassing moments trying to remember.

Al walked up to her and she fought the urge to cringe or shrink away. His hand came forward and she could see his badly cared for cuticles. Swiftly he grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips, there he placed a kiss and drawled that he was sure he was charmed.

Sally was very relieved that she hadn't pulled her hand away. That would have looked rather silly.

Everything went rather quiet after this. She noticed Sam had disappeared, probably into a coffin, which explained the sudden silence. Al, she then noted, was now climbing into another coffin. She stood there feeling rather lost and then she did something she would regret for the rest of her life. Or for the first five minutes after she woke up, anyway. She thought about her situation.

Three 'vampires' named Sam, Al and Bob had just barged into her tomb and attempted to convince her, that not only were they vampires, but that she was as well. They had then hidden in mouldy old coffins and left her standing there on her own with no proper explanations!

She promptly fainted in response to these thoughts.

Anyone who's tried fainting in a stone tomb will tell you they regretted it for the rest of their life. Mostly because it hurts a lot and then of course because of the waking up process, which involves rats and insects crawling over one's body.

More experienced vampires probably wouldn't even shrug at such surroundings during the waking of the up but Sally, she screamed. This began a complicated sort of chain of events. 

First thing's first. The screaming woke Sam, Al and Bob up. They were a bit grouchy but didn't mind too much since it was already evening and they should probably have woken up an hour or two ago anyway. Sam realized immediately what was a matter and proceeded to 'rescue' her from those distressing vermin. She was very thankful and very nearly swooned, but was interrupted by the door of the tomb swinging open in a grumpy sort of way.

As it turned out, her screaming had alerted a group of very dangerous men to her presence and someone had been sent to investigate. 

"Are you the source of that frightful noise?" The investigator asked, sounding almost bored. He was tall and very thin, wearing only black... robes? 

Must be a priest or something. Sally thought, having recovered somewhat from being the distraught damsel in distress. Of course he was a priest! Who else would hang out in graveyards dressed like that?

"She's merely new to the experience of waking up in tombs with rats crawling all over her. It's under control." Al answered clearly and with authority. 

The priest, she noticed, was holding a stick in his right hand. 

How bizarre... she thought absently.

"Vampires." The priest stated with disdain and sneered. 

"At your service... wizard." Al answered in the same tone of voice.

"Hand over the young one, I'll make sure she's registered as I'm sure you three are. My Lord has also demanded that someone is to be punished for interrupting his little inspirational speech." The priest, who she now very much doubted was a priest, gripped her upper arm with his bony hand, causing her pain and promising bruises in the morning. 

Sam, Al and Bob stood by and did nothing as the stranger dragged Sally away from them.

"It's a shame, I sort of fancied her." She heard Sam say and sigh wistfully before the stranger slammed the door behind them.

**Note**: _I just want to stick a note in here to thank Vampran for a brilliant review. Probably one of the best reviews I've ever gotten. Thank you very much! About the description thing, I do like describing stuff but I decided, in order to avoid Mary Sue-ness, not to describe Sally too much in the beginning. Don't worry, I'm sure she'll gain an eye-colour soon enough._


	3. Thriller

**A Vampire in a Wizard's World**

by Sarah Black

_(who does not claim to own any of the HP characters, Michael Jackson or his music)_

**Chapter three.**

She didn't fight him as he dragged her along, but he had longer feet so it was difficult for her to keep up. While they walked over to a circle of men who were dressed like the one pulling her along, she wondered about Al's 'wizard' comment and pondered his stick which he was pointing at her. 

Not that stick.

Pervert.

The one he'd been holding in the tomb. Was it perhaps a stake? Well, if it was, she needn't be afraid because the mere notion that she was actually a _vampire _was ridiculous.

One part of her mind believed her. The other part was telling her certain geographical facts, such as: 'De Nile ain't just a river in Egypt.'

She suddenly realized that a very ugly man who had a nose that vaguely resembled Michael Jackson's had been talking to her while she had contemplated wooden stakes and Egypt. 

"Sorry, spaced out. What did you say?" She gave him her automatic response, born from years of not paying attention when her teachers were talking to her. She realized promptly that saying that to this particular person was a big mistake. Maybe even a bigger mistake than opening her eyes in the tomb earlier. The pain that shot through her body presently convinced her that indeed, it was.

"I trust I have your undivided attention now." The man with Michael Jackson nose said after he had forced her to go through, probably the worst torture of her life. Including that eight page essay.

"Yes?" She replied questioningly, not feeling quite sure what sort of answer he was looking for. Then, right after she answered, a strange sort of foolish bravery welled up inside her, begging for the silliest release possible. 

"Before you go on, I feel I must inform you... your nose is just like Michael Jackson's." 

As soon as she said it she clamped both hands over her mouth in horror, feeling like it had simply said that on its own without even asking her brain for permission first. It was just like that time in English class when she had had a perfectly horrid teacher who did everything to make her life miserable. He had been insulting her grammar and asking her if she was sure she belonged in such an advanced class and she had been so humiliated that she had blurted out without thinking that at least she didn't have to wear a wig like he did. His eyes had widened and his nostrils flared and she had been marched to the principals office for punishment. It had nearly gotten her suspended but she had cried her way out of it, playing all her 'weak young female' cards and batting her eyelashes quite a bit. 

This particular man didn't seem affected by her words at all. He simply raised his stick thing and before she knew it the pain was back, worse than before. After an eternity it ebbed away and she swore to herself never to insult men with sticks ever again.

"That should teach you to keep your mouth shut, vampire." He spat. Then he went off into a rant about how he was very important and she was very naughty for interrupting his speech. She caught the gist of it because she was worried he'd torture her some more if she didn't but didn't manage to hang on to his every word because, for some reason she couldn't stop staring at his nose and playing 'Thriller' in her head. She had learnt her lesson though and didn't make a sound.

She didn't even dare to attempt an apology for being so naughty after he was finished with his rant.

Now that he was done ranting he simply looked supremely irritated and made some sort of complicated hand gesture which made her dizzy. The gesture brought forth the stranger who had brought her here, the man referred to him as 'Severus' and asked him to get rid of "that idiotic parasite."

'Severus' seemed very annoyed with being charged with that particular responsibility but strode over to her with a lot of impressive and dramatic waving about of his priestly robes despite any misgivings he might have had about it.

She was soon is his painful but sadly familiar grasp and her stupid sounding response was saying 'hello' in a rather perplexed way. It was probably the pain, it must still be muddling up her thoughts. She nodded decisively to herself almost convinced that her stupid behaviour had nothing to do with her own personality, but rather was because of the man with Michael's nose torturing her too much. 

As a reply to her pitiful 'hello' she received a sort of growl. She cleverly stayed quiet for the rest of their trip with one small exception. When they passed the crypt she had disturbingly come to think of as her own and the man showed no sign of even a pause she made a small noise of bewilderment. Sally was then able to resign herself to the man's iron grip, simply hoping for the best.

Her thoughts turned to other things. She wondered if someone had turned in her essay for her. Did the teacher even take the time to grade it when he was certain she was dead? Most likely not. It was a shame as she really would have liked to know if she had scraped a passing grade. Upon reconsideration it had been foolish to set her hopes as high as a seven. She stifled a sigh as she did not want any unwanted attention from the man with the iron grip.

She wondered absent mindedly if anyone had cried at her funeral. The next thought that entered her mind was most unlike her. She imagined rising out of her coffin in the middle of the funeral, fangs exposed, grabbing at anyone within reach... blood everywhere. To her horror and disgust she actually found the notion amusing as well as she found that it was rousing within her a most terrible appetite. 

All she could see was red, all she could smell was a sharp, delicious metallic odour, all she could taste was the delectable taste of copper, all she thought of was blood. 

With a thrilled intake of breath she realised that all she could hear was the relentless beat of the human's heart. 

She began to feel a strange sensation in her mouth, more specifically in her teeth. Her canine teeth. It was painful in a satisfying twisted sort of way and when she felt their sharp points against her soft lower lip she almost purred with pleasure. Forget almost. She actually did let out a noise which could be said to resemble a purr, but to a human's ears it would resemble the hungry growl of a jungle cat.

Before the throbbing vein on his neck managed to entrance her further he had somehow altered his previous grip on her arm into a much more painful twisted sort of position, making it impossible for her to move or even struggle without causing her more pain.

"Don't even think of it, leech." He spat, disgust evident in the tone of his voice.

She struggled but found it to be too exhaustingly painful to be worth her effort, She then realized somehow, as if the part of her brain that found popping out one's coffin in the middle of one's funeral to be amusing had sent her a notice with a full explanation, that she was horribly weakened in her state. After all she hadn't had any blood in nearly four nights how was she supposed to fight off anything in that sort of condition? 

Her rational mind objected to this sort of thinking. As if she honestly believed she was a vampire. But all of her arguments seemed to have been torn away one by one. After all, she had woken up in a coffin with her pulse lacking in activity and her first close contact with a human had provoked a response of her teeth lengthening and lusting after his blood... blood! Of all of the things in the world to lust after it had to be blood. Why couldn't vampires lust after chocolate?

She noticed that the prolonged pain in her arm and her chocolatey distraction had brought her teeth back to normal. The man let her go to a small extent. 

"I am not supper. You're lucky I'm not going to put you to sleep like the beast you are right here. But as that is what I am indeed expected to do I must make certain that you do not return to this precise location again. Now, you have not been registered yet, correct?"

As he spoke she listened obediently, feeling at first humility, then anger and finally confusion.

"Registered?" She frowned as she asked him to elaborate with an incomplete question.

"At the Vampire Registry in the Ministry of Magic." He explained, sounding exasperated. 

She was still no nearer to understanding him. What was it with all this magic and wizard talk from everyone? She was sick of being so confused all the time. Sure she was used to confusion to some extent, after all she went to school. But this was all a bit much for her. 

"What is it with everyone lately? Everyone keeps going on about wizards and magic and vampires and so on and so forth and I feel like a complete idiot not knowing what anyone's talking about!" She was close to angry tears and was breathing heavily. She wasn't used to all this emotional stress, not since her first break-up had she been so emotionally troubled.

"What's to misinterpret? The ones you met in the crypt and yourself are vampires, myself and the other men you saw along with the Dark Lord are wizards. Wizards do magic and we have our own Ministry for our affairs, the affairs of magical creatures and finally of magical beings such as yourself. Vampires are required by law to register at the Vampire Registry along with for example werewolves. Understand?" The man looked so highly annoyed with her lack of understanding that she didn't dare do anything but nod after he was done. She wanted to ask if the man with Michael's nose was that 'Dark Lord' he had mentioned but didn't dare.

A large part of her had begun to accept that she had somehow bin sucked into a weird dimension where vampires, wizards and apparently werewolves as well were common. The rest of her was still stubbornly in denial. Really, soon she would probably wake to find it all to be a dream, but before that happened it was most likely best to play along, lest she annoy the man too much.

They walked a bit further and then the man came to a halt. He let go of her but glared at her in way that expressed there would be no moving on her part. She agreed with an obedient look of her own and began to happily rub her arm where he had finally released his strong grip. 

She looked at him with interest as she proceeded to rub her bruised self and noticed he was searching for something hidden somewhere on his person. At last he pulled something out of a hidden pocket in his priest robe thing and offered it to her. Suspecting nothing she took hold of the battered object she didn't recognize because of the dark, only to find a strange unwelcome sensation flow through her. Suddenly it was as if she were a worm on a hook spinning towards a lake full of fish.

The next things she knew she was lying sprawled on the ground next to a pair of feet which she assumed belonged to the man who had brought her there. The next thing she heard was the loudly spoken word 'Stupefy' and then there was darkness.

**Note: **_I'd just like to say that I am a fan of Michael Jackson's music and I think he's a sweet guy but you have to admit, him and Voldie both have very silly noses. :) Review if you dare._


	4. Blindfolded

**A Vampire in a Wizard's World**

by Sarah Black

**Chapter four.**

She heard voices. At first as if she were listening from under the surface of water but the sounds were soon clear. She opened her eyes but did not see. She felt some sort of material, taut over her eyes and realized quickly she had been blindfolded.

How rude.

She decided to listen to the voices, which were not in her own head mind you, and thus try to find out what was going on.

"Stunned or not, Severus, it just isn't safe to have such a creature in the house. Think of the children!" A shrill female voice sounded, making her want to cover her ears.

"Actually, _Molly_," Severus replied not really seeming to want to be on first name basis with the woman, "She is not a creature. Vampires are quite clearly classified as beings, the same can not be said about a certain _creature _against which you have never voiced any sort of objection." He continued in a very acidic tone of voice.

"Remus isn't dangerous and everyone knows where his loyalties lie. The same can not be said about that vampire girl you have pulled up off the street!" The woman called Molly huffed before she continued sarcastically, "Do you even know her name?"

There was a pause.

"I knew it! You've gone and dragged some strange girl with fangs into our headquarters without pausing to think!" She was almost singing in triumph.

"Don't be a fool Molly. If I had not indeed paused to think, would I have taken the precaution of Stunning her and blindfolding her? I took her here because I deducted the werewolf would either be here or would be here soon. He'll be able to make sure the girl is registered properly, he has experience with that wing of the Ministry after all." Severus countered smoothly, sounding a bit obnoxious actually.

"Do it yourself, this is your mess!" The Molly woman cried out.

"If only I could, but as I have been ordered to, ah, _get rid of her_, it really wouldn't do for me to be loitering about near her. Which brings me to my next point. I've loitered about for long enough trying to knock sense into you and I am expected back presently." And with that she could somehow sense he was no longer in the room.

"That man is insufferable." The woman growled.

Footsteps, a door slammed, the turn of a key, silence.

No, not silence.

Scratching sounds beneath her, something crawling, nibbling, chewing, biting. She shuddered at the vivid memory of waking up in a tomb covered in vermin. She pushed the memory back into the darkest corner of her mind.

Next she heard voices.

"But _Ron_ you know we mustn't." A female voice somewhere far away spoke. The sound of it irritated her slightly.

"It's not fair, Hermione. Harry must be going mental not knowing any of what's going on." A male adolescent replied, presumably Ron.

"You know what Dumbledore said. We can't write things like that in Harry's letters. It's too dangerous..." The girl named Hermione didn't stop there, but the sound of her voice went on her nerves so much that she searched for something different to listen to.

While she searched for something interesting she recalled a voice very similar to that of Hermione's which had belonged to a girl that had once been in her class.

Annette Lindon. Urgh, Annie lil' Lindon who was so smart and so pretty and the one everyone just _loved_. How she had hated that girl.

Funny... she hadn't thought of Annette in years. She remembered how bitter and jealous she had been and smiled at how trivial her old problems seemed now. If only her biggest problem now could be her hair colour or some such nonsense. That would be lovely. Some normal superficial troubles would do her good.

Her train of thought was interrupted by a very pleasant sounding male voice somewhere in the house.

"Molly! You nearly frightened me to death, how may I help you?" The man said and she could almost see the smile on his face. It was odd as she hadn't actually seen him, but the part of her mind she had begun to think of as the vampire part, silly as that of course was, seemed to respond very positively to this voice. She wondered why as she continued to listen.

"Oh, I'm sorry Remus, I didn't mean to startle you." Molly cooed to Sally's surprise. She had thought the woman could do naught but shriek. Then she frowned. Hadn't 'Remus' been the name of the werewolf she had spoken of with Severus earlier?

"It's quite all right I assure you." Remus accepted her apology nicely but at the same time something in his tone suggested gently that she ask what she came to ask.

"Well, then. Severus was just here." Molly seemed to get irritated at simply mentioning Severus, judging by the change in her voice. "He wasn't alone. He dragged some wretched vampire in here with him and he wants _you_ to take her to the Ministry to have her registered. Merlin knows why." Molly sighed in what could only be interpreted as sympathy for Remus' poor luck with assignments.

"A vampire? Have you left it alone? What about -" Molly cut him off before he could finish. His voice was nice sounding even when he was panicked. ...

"Don't worry, she's stunned, blindfolded and locked in a room where I've strictly forbidden the children from going." Molly informed him soothingly.

"Of course, I should have realized. Severus is, after all, no fool." Remus said, sounding much calmer.

"Well, I can't see why it has to be you who takes her to the Vampire Registry. Alastor could do it just as well after the meeting tomorrow." Molly answered huffily.

"Actually, Severus is right to have me take care of it. No vampire would make an attempt to hurt me and the same can not be said about Alastor. Highly skilled as he is, he's still human." Remus sounded tired now, resigned.

"I don't believe I quite understand..." Molly, Sally could tell, was as perplexed as she was. She awaited the explanation eagerly. She felt certain that it would contain the reason for his immense appeal to her.

"Vampires, werewolves and various nocturnal magical beings have a natural affinity towards one another. Vampires and werewolves especially. They tend to feel very protective and friendly towards each other. It stems from a time when werewolves were the vampires' protectors during the day and the vampires were the werewolves' protectors when the werewolves were in their weaker human form. We sense allies in each other." Remus seemed saddened as he explained this. He had also sounded very much like a teacher as he spoke. He was probably the first teacher-sounding person she had ever liked. Though she was somewhat unnerved at the reason behind her, what had he called it? _Affinity _towards him.

She tried to arrange her aching and bruised limbs into a comfortable position on the floor, was unsuccessful so she settled down to listening some more, somehow ignoring her discomfort.

"I never knew! How on earth did Severus know about that?" Molly exclaimed, obviously excited.

"It is not without reason Severus is after the Defence Against the Dark Arts teaching post at Hogwarts." Remus replied and she thought she could sense amusement from his tone.

Wait a minute. Hogwarts? Defence Against the Dark Arts?

Wonderful. More nonsense to deal with, Things just kept getting better and better.

"Well, it's not without reason Dumbledore hasn't given him the position." Molly answered sounding very cheerful, or gleeful or something-ful about it.

Suddenly there was a strange sound that was certainly not in any other part of the house. It was right there with her in the same room. She wished she could see. If only she could move...

She tried moving and realized she could actually move quite easily. After the usual amount of kicking herself for her stupidity she thought to herself that she must not be, what had they called it before? Stunned! They'd said she was stunned. What the hell was that about? Well, she was probably not stunned any more. She wondered why she wasn't. Those people obviously hadn't planned on it wearing off.

There was that sound again! Followed be an evil sort of voice muttering mean sounding things under its breath. It had to be small because it wasn't coming from very far above. It seemed nearly level with her and she was lying on the floor! She shuddered as she was reminded of rodents. Maybe it was a big talking rodent.

Hah.

Werewolves, vampires and wizards okay, but talking great big hamsters? That was just too silly. Even for this crazy world she was apparently in.

She reached up to feel her blindfold, very aware that there was some... _thing _in there with her that she could not see. The blindfold was soft and she deemed it likely to be a scarf of some sort. She felt around for a bit with both hands and was able to find the knot after some searching in the confusion of her hair. While she searched for the knot she realized that she seriously needed a shower. A bunch of days being dead in a coffin, who knew what had happened to her before the funeral, a night spent on the dirty floor of a tomb and of course all that writhing around on the ground in absolute and utter torture.

She hoped to the gods and all that was holy that there was no mirror in the room when she finally managed to pull the knot loose and expose her eyes to the world.

There was.

Typical.

Of course, being of the female persuasion, she couldn't resist the powerful attraction of the looking-glass. Sadly, Sally would have been much better off with the blindfold.

"No reflection?" She asked the noise that kept muttering somewhere below and to the left. She felt sheer disappointment and disbelief.

This was the worst thing that had happened to her in her entire life. She had never felt as crushed and alone. Now who was she supposed to talk to? It wasn't as if she had a chance of getting back in touch with the few good friends she had back in the US and no one in this stupid James Bond country seemed to speak any sense.

How would she know if she had stuff in her teeth? She though to herself despairingly. How would she know if her hair was doing something wonky? How would she know the simple fact of how she looked?

It was at that moment, when her vanity shattered into a million broken pieces, when the muttering noise, below and to the left, decided to inform her of the following:

"You is being Muggle filth!" It hissed, drawing her attention in its direction.

It wasn't a big hamster. It was a bit like a hairless dog on two feet. She wrinkled her nose when she noticed the dirty loincloth it was sporting.

"Eurch." She replied to it, hoping it would go away if she expressed mutual disgust.

And what does Muggle mean, anyway? She wondered as the creature proceeded to make itself scarce.

"How come I don't understand anyone in this country? I know it's England, but it's still supposed to be basic English." She expressed in an irritated manner at the empty mirror. She kept staring at the thing, wondering if her reflection would appear if she looked at it for long enough.

Nothing happened.

Except the small explosion that was soon to be followed by an awful stench and an angry shriek.

"**Who threw that dungbomb!"**


	5. A Bath and a Ministry

**A Vampire in a Wizard's World**

by Sarah Black

**Chapter five**

Sally's nose was severely offended. What on earth was that smell? It was completely horrid and potent enough to nearly knock her out. She reached up to pinch her nose in a fleeting attempt to block the stench out. No such luck. Perhaps if she tried to focus on something else? Listening was her only option as there was nothing of interest to look at in the room she was occupying.

"Ginny! I'm surprised at you. What were you thinking? Did Fred and George put you up this? You're going to straight to bed when I'm through with you!" The loud lady, Molly, was yelling again. It went on and on. She tried focusing on the smell again, but it had faded and wasn't strong enough to pull her attention away from the lady's shrill cries.

Sally had nearly resigned herself to an eternity of listening to Molly yell when something happened.

The door opened. The light from the corridor flooded the room and she was temporarily blinded.

"Good afternoon. I see you've shaken the stunner off. Severus must have forgotten that your kind tend to be, shall we say, resilient when it comes to magic." It was the werewolf. She recognized his kind teacherly voice in an instant.

She couldn't think of a graceful reply in time so she stammered out a weak, "hello." She could see him now, having gotten used to the light. He wasn't at all like she would have imagined a werewolf would look like. She had thought he would be hairy and fearsome, instead he looked sort of harmless and... _nice._

The silence was becoming awkward. He was staring at her. She suspected that she looked bedraggled and dirty so she didn't really blame him. Although, weren't Brits supposed to be all polite?

Deciding to try to shake the man out of his reverie she took action.

"So, you're the one who's going to take me to get registered." She boldly stated, sounding a lot more confident than she felt.

Her plan worked, the man looked surprised and the silence was successfully broken. Also, he smelled nice.

"Indeed, did Severus tell you all about it then?" He sounded interested. She was enjoying herself, finally a normal conversation. She smiled at him and nodded.

"Something like that." She couldn't help it, the flirtatious tone in her voice had just jumped in there.

Remus cleared his voice and started looking everywhere except at her. She almost giggled. Then she remembered at that she didn't really look her best. She imagined she had dirt all over her and bits of debris in her hair. Her clothes were probably torn too. She felt her self esteem plummet.

"Remus?" She asked, hoping he wouldn't mind her using his first name. No such luck.

He looked at her now, startled and a little annoyed. "How do you know my name?" He asked her sharply.

"Um, I heard the loud lady call you that." She answered, feeling sheepish. She refrained from using the woman's first name. He didn't seem to appreciate the effort. Her answer seemed to make him feel better, his posture eased up and he looked relaxed again.

"I see. Would you like to accompany me to the Ministry then?" He asked her, obviously wanting to get her out of the house as soon as possible. She, on the other hand, was mortified at the prospect of leaving the house, looking like she imagined she looked.

"Actually, would it be all right for me to shower first? Maybe have a change of clothes too? I must look a mess. I mean, I don't really know how I look because I can't see myself in the mirror for some reason. Is it maybe a trick mirror? Because, you know, I've never not seen myself in a mirror before..." She ranted until she was too embarrassed to continue. The man had to think she was crazy now.

"I'll have to ask Molly, but I don't think she'll like the idea. She's concerned about her children. I might be able to convince her if you promise not to bite anyone." Remus replied, sounding almost amused. Perhaps he didn't think she was crazy after all.

"I promise." She might as well play along with this vampire situation. She was actually starting to believe it after the mirror thing. She'd never heard of a mirror that didn't show reflections. Besides, she could see Remus reflected in the glass just fine. There was no point in denying it any longer. She was a vampire until proven otherwise. It wasn't some odd dream her deranged mind had cooked up. It was real. She couldn't explain any of it any other way.

"I'll have a go at talking Molly into it. Wait here." He gave her a small tired smile and left, closing the door behind him. It was dark again. She wrapped her arms around herself, engaging in her favourite activity. Self pity.

She blocked the world out and let herself think all those thoughts she hadn't let herself think before.

_Why me?_

_What did I do to deserve this?_

_I'll never see my face in the mirror again! _

And so on and so forth until Remus came back carrying a towel. She took it and followed him to the bathroom door. She felt like she was in a trance or more like auto-pilot. She hardly even felt amazed when Remus used one of those wooden stick things to fill an ancient looking bathtub with steeming water for her. She was so absorbed in her self pity that she barely waited for Remus to make a hasty retreat before she started to pull her clothes off.

Once in the water she felt a little better. She allowed her mind to drift, processing the events of the last few days. Had she really woken up in a tomb? Been tortured by a mad snake person? Did she really have no reflection at all?

She looked down at her body. At least she could still see it. She had a fairly nice body. She had always been rather proud of it, despite numerous stretch marks from puberty and all the scars on her knees from her active childhood. She glanced at her thighs and knees, intending to glare at the flaws on her skin. To her surprise they were gone. The silvery scar tissue had disappeared along with her reflection. Upon closer inspection her skin was completely flawless. Quite a bit paler than it had been a few days ago, though. She touched her arm with her fingertips feeling the smooth perfect surface. She ran her palm down the front of her thigh revelling in the sensation. Not only was the skin on her thighs unmarred by strech marks, it was also much firmer... A quick check of her breasts gave her the sudden urge to buy lots of silky underthings. Her body was _perfect._

The delighted smile which had appeared on her face vanished when a sudden knock on the door interrupted the exploration of her skin.

"I don't mean to rush you, but we should get going soon." It was Remus' voice behind the door. She frowned at the interruption but sped things up a little.

"I just have to wash my hair." She called, hoping he'd leave her to it. Thankfully, she next heard his retreating footsteps.

She looked around for shampoo. She didn't see anything she recognized. She only saw very old fashioned bottles, made of coloured glass, standing on the edge of the tub. She shrugged and picked one at random, hoping none of the had anything dangerous inside. The liquid inside the light blue bottle she had picked, turned out to be bright pink and florar smelling. Sally decided this was clearly a good sign and dumped a bit of it in her hair. She remembered that she was in a hurry, so she didn't spend time massaging her scalp and spoiling herself like she usually did when she took a bath. As a result she was done in no time.

When she had dressed in the clean clothes she found on a chair she looked in the mirror again. Depressingly there was still no reflection. She left the bathroom with a sigh, feeling a little better than when she had entered.

"Remus?" She called, hoping she wouldn't be forced to look for him.

It was as if he had been waiting for her to emerge, because he walked around the corner almost the second she called.

"Good, you're done." He gave her that tired smile of his and motioned for her to follow him. "I hope you don't mind, but we have to leave right away." He continued when he was sure she was following him.

"I don't mind." She told him, trying to keep up with him. For someone who looked so tired he walked pretty fast. She had to jog to keep up. Suddenly he stopped, she didn't notice until it was too late and nearly crashed into him. That would have been most unseemely. Thankfully, Remus appeared to have rather quick reflexes and caught her before any bones were broken.

"You remind me of Tonks." He told her with a raised eyebrow. She wasn't sure, but he seemed to be suppressing a smile.

"Who's Tonks?" She asked conversationally.

Remus flushed a little as he answered, "she's a... collegue."

Sally smirked to herself when he immediately changed the subject.

"I'll need to blindfold you again and I must warn you to be very quiet as we pass those curtains." He said, looking serious and apologetic.

"What's behind the curtains?" She asked as she let him blindfold her. He was very gentle and somehow managed not to pull on her hair or anything. She was amazed. Her _mother _hadn't been that gentle.

"A painting of Sirius' mother." He stated. He looked completely serious too. She didn't know how to react so she just nodded and tried not to laugh.

She was beginning to suspect that this world she had somehow been thrown into was completely insane. However, as she had no way of getting out of it blindfolded as she was, she decided to keep playing along.

For a while, everything was pretty uneventful on her end. She knew they had left the house (and the painting) and were now walking outside somewhere, but that was it. After Remus had told her about the painting he hadn't said much else. A few, "watch out"s and "to the left"s but nothing substantial.

Just when she was about to rip the blindfold off out of sheer boredom Remus' footsteps stopped. She presumed the rest of him had stopped too. Her brilliant theory was proven right when he took the blindfold off, just as gently as he had put it on.

She thanked him and blinked a few times. It was dark out. She wondered how long she'd been in that house.

"We really must hurry, it's late and I'm not sure about the Ministry closing hours." Remus told her, looking worried.

She rolled her eyes, but sped up despite herself. A ride on the tube later they were hurrying towards a shabby looking telephone-box. Before she had a chance to ask Remus what on earth was going on he had dragged her inside and dialled a number.

She felt her mouth drop open in shock when an invisible woman started speaking. It wasn't coming out of that telephone at least. The woman's voice told them they were welcome to some Ministry and asked them to state their name and business. She stared at Remus who looked like he did this every day.

"Remus Lupin, visitor, here to take..." he looked at her questioningly. She realized that he wanted her to tell the disembodied voice her name.

"Sally Carlyle." She told the voice uncertainly. Remus smiled at her and kept talking to the woman.

"Here to take Sally Carlyle to the Vampire Registry." He finished. The disembodied voice thanked him and shot some badges at him through the returned coins chute. He pinned one to his robes and handed the other to her. Her badge read: "Sally Carlyle, Vampire". She stared at it blankly. It was as if those three words grouped together were the final straw. Just because she had decided to go along with this whole, her being a vampire thing, didn't mean she was ready for a badge!

The process was making her dizzy.

She felt a little like she thought being on drugs must be like. The ground started sinking. It was like being on an elevator. Except no mirror, no light and no annoyingly mellow elevator music.

She felt like screaming or fainting or making some such grand dramatic gesture. Instead she started crying. She hated crying. It was so _weak. _Pitiful and useless and weak. It accomplished nothing. Yet she couldn't stop.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt Remus' hand pat her awkwardly on the back. She got over the shock quickly and decided that comfort was worth throwing her dignity out the window for. She turned to cry on his shoulder and feel comforted. His slow breathing was soothing and his awkward little pats felt nice.

She couldn't help wishing that none of this had ever happened and that she was safe at home. Dealing with essays and normal things.

Too soon there was light illuminating their feet, telling her she had to pull herself together.

"Will you be all right?" Remus asked her, his voice expressing concern. She whispered a little "yes" and whiped her tears away. She knew that her eyes were probably red and swollen so she tried to shift her hair so it covered more of her face. When Remus stepped out of the strange elevator they'd been on she followed him, head hanging and shoulders slumped.

Sally floated off into a dreamlike state, not really taking in her surroundings. She wondered what she would be doing had she left the strange man who had flown into her apartment be. Perhaps she'd be watching TV? Or having a nice, long, _unhurried_ bath. The corners of her mouth lifted a little at the thought. Perhaps she'd be out dancing. What if this would have been the night, the night she'd been waiting for. When she would meet some wonderful guy who'd sweep her off her feet and what not. She let out a little dreamy sigh.

Remus was busy showing his wand to some desk person and didn't notice the vapid look on her face. That was probably I good thing, she thought. He'd most likely think she was out of her mind, her moods swinging from miserable and weepy to dreamy and vapid. Worse yet, he might assume it was a girl thing. She didn't like it when men chalked everything she did up to her being a _girl._

Remus started to move towards some proper elevators. She followed him into one. It was empty except for a very sleepy looking man who was holding a tray of moving china.

Couldn't she ever do anything because she was simply a person? She continued her train of thought, absentmindedly noticing that one of the tea cups on the tray was wrestling with the sugarbowl.

Remus exited the elevator when it arrived on: Level Four, Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, incorporating Beast, Being and Spirit Divisions, Goblin Liaison Office and Pest Advisory Bureau. Sally listened to the elevator announce this and raised an eyebrow. _Goblins? _She thought to herself, remembering David Bowie in _Labyrinth._

She noticed they left the elevator before the sleepy man did and was glad for it. Being alone in an elevator with Remus didn't seem to be very healthy for her dignity. She was sure she wouldn't start crying again if there were other people around.

"Watch out." Remus told her nonchalantly as a paper aeroplane flew passed her nose. She wondered briefly who had thrown it so well but decided she didn't really care. A few minutes later Remus announced that they had arrived.

Sally looked at the heavy oak doors, feeling dubious. What on earth was in there? It turned out to be a slightly empty looking office. There were only a few people scattered around in their seperate cubicles, clearly working late. Remus didn't spare them a glance. He walked straight towards another set of oak doors which led to a corridor, which led to another door on which was a brass sign.

Sally read it out loud, not knowing if she wanted to burst into tears or into laughter.

"Vampire Registry" she looked at Remus who looked as if all was right in the world. He opened the door and held it for her. She rolled her eyes at the gesture but walked through the door without a fuss.

It was a smaller office than from before, but it was still rather large. Surprisingly there were more people in this place than there had been in the much bigger room. Before she had a chance to admire all the interesting moving pictures on the walls her attention was pulled towards a woman who had walked up to them.

"Hullo, Remus. You confused? Werewolves are next door." The woman said, humour in her tone and her eyes sparkling with mischeif.

"No, I'm fine. I'm here on purpose, actually. I've brought you a new one. Her name is Sally Carlyle." He looked at Sally and smiled.

"Sally, this is Maggie Pinewood." He introduced them and pushed her gently towards Maggie. She realized he wanted her to shake hands with the woman and quickly complied.

"Pleased to make your aquaintance." Maggie told her sincerely as they shook hands. Before Sally had a chance to say 'likewise' the woman had let go and was focusing on Remus again.

"Has she fed?" Maggie asked him seriously. He shook his head hesitantly.

"At least I don't think so." He looked at Sally questioningly.

"No, I haven't eaten in ages." She told them, suddenly aware of how incredibly hungry she was.

Maggie made 'tut tut' noices. "Well, we'll have to feed her, now won't we. Thank you Remus, for bringing her. She seems friendly enough so we'll be able to handle her easily. Give my best to Molly, will you?" Maggie said all this very quickly while she practically pushed Remus out the door.

"Take care." was the last thing Remus said to her before Maggie closed the door in his face.

Sally felt a little lonely without him, and more than a little confused. Why was he leaving her in this office? Maggie was pulling on her arm, telling her to: "Come along, now." so she did what anyone would have done in the same situation. She came along.

**Author Note: **Thank you for the reviews. Hopefully you'll like this chapter too. Coming up is how vampires are registered and what happens afterwards. I'll try to update soon, but exams are coming up so I can't promise anything. Thanks for reading.


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